lolaislosingit

Like most over-achievers I am very hard on myself. Even when I do well I try to find ways I could have done better.  You can imagine how I am when I feel that I’ve failed. I’m there.

Since my last post, I’ve lost some pounds.  More importantly, I’ve put myself first. Exercising at a beginner’s level. I made the mistake of thinking I was more in shape than I really am. Jumping on the elliptical and going full force for 45 minutes is not an option right now. Maybe later, maybe not. I am so happy just getting through a 30 min on-demand exercise video.  LOL. I tried to keep up with the trainer but it was just not happening. I’m gonna settle for finishing right now.

Eating is going well. I took my son to his favorite restaurant yesterday. It just so happens to be a chinese buffet.  I was done after eating 1 plate of veggies and chicken and 1 plate of fruit.  It was 2 plates but compare that to the 4 plates of absolute crap I would normally eat - I’m happy. I even passed up the fried dumplings, my fave. They made my stomach turn seeing them glisten in what I knew was fat. Score one for the team.

I have held on too long to the old me. The all or nothing, perfectionist me.  Though that part of me will never go away, I won’t let it rule my life. I never saw my life going anything less that 100 miles and hour, but easy does it seems to be helping me more than I ever thought.