lolaislosingit

I worked last night and had a slight meltdown. Okay, maybe not so slight. A really big slice of pie and Pepperidge Farms-type meltdown. Four soft baked dark chocolate chip cookies to be precise.  YIKES!!!!

Thankfully the gym is open 24 hours a day and I am going around 4pm for an hour before I go to work. I’m gonna need to hit it hard to make up for the ridiculosity (yes new word) that I perpetrated upon myself.

What a bonehead play. Oh well, it’s a new day and I’m moving on. No calling myself bad names and ditching everything I’ve accomplished because I didn’t do so well last night.

The water retention and weight gain I thought I’d avoided has now settled in and I feel 10 pounds heavier. Am I just imagining it? If I drink more water I’m going to start swishing or feeling lightheaded.

Maybe I’m trying to sabotage myself and I’m using my period to excuse some all-out binge. It seems to be a pattern for me. I do great for 1 to 2 weeks and then I do something silly. I start hearing the “oh, you’re looking losing weight” comments and I don’t know how to deal with them. I feel like everything I eat or drink is under a microscope. I turn to my trusty frien”emies” chocolate and baked goods to help me quiet the anxiety I feel. How can I deal with these feelings in another way so I don’t have to stuff myself until I’m numb?

Any suggestions? I’m open to everything and anything.

HELP!!!