lolaislosingit

It’s 0249 am and I’m blogging during my break at work. I’ll probably be too tired after waking up to do anything more than a load of laundry. Going to the gym seems almost impossible at this point.

S’allright though. I’m working on one of the busiest sides of the ER tonight. I’m actually splitting two assignments. How do I get into these situations? I’m a sucker that’s how. I’m gonna look at it in a positive light. At least I’m too busy to eat and I’m walking around a lot. Getting my exercise in. Maybe not going to the gym won’t be so bad. Had cake today though. Very small piece. I’m pretty sure I caved in because it’s my favorite and I really wanted it.

Well, really there’s no reason why I had to have it. I really did want it though. If I stop to think about it, isn’t that why I’m in the place I am right now? Because I didn’t stop myself from having what I wanted? Hmm. I’m gonna have to think about that one later. Hurts my brain too much right now. And I might start to feel bad and eat a whole lot more of that cake.

I’m not hungry right now, and I skipped my bigger meal so I could have the piece of cake. Not really a sound trade-off, but I made a choice of one over the other. I know I’m trying to rationalize. My next meal will be at 6am and I’m going to have my small bowl of oatmeal. Just water until then - not even coffee.

Wish me luck.