lolaislosingit

It’s 3am at work and I’ve almost made it through unscathed. Didn’t do as much walking as I’d like to since I’m out in triage today. My feet are on fire.

My diet is fairly intact though. I’ve been eating every couple of hours and I’m not feeling hungry at all. I turned down another treat today. Something I’ve never had before - dump cake. Didn’t sound very good, but it was tasty looking. I had exactly two spoonfuls of it. Okay, so I didn’t turn down the whole treat - just most of it. Once upon a time I would have eaten not only my plate, but the plates of the three people next to me. Maybe we’re making some progress here.

Should I be looking for a big fall? I’ve never been this into losing weight and being conscientious about diet and exercise.  In my past life maybe, but not for a very long time. Almost 14 years to be exact. I hate to look back on my pictures and see how far I’ve fallen. The pictures of me with my platoon looking completely ripped and in shape. Those were the glory days. Now I can’t see them and be anything but ashamed. I know I shouldn’t feel that way but I do. I may never be able to get back to that shape and fitness level, but getting close would be ok. We shall see.

One more day to go and four 12 hour shifts will be done. I will never again do that to myself. Although this time I didn’t do it either. I found out that my shift supervisor made a mistake and accidentally scheduled me for the 12 hours on Friday. I hope a stretcher accidentally runs over her pinkie toe.

I should probably stop being mean. I may be hit by the karma boomerang. I shan’t like that at all.

Wish me luck.